


Impotency

by arcticnewt



Category: Teen Wolf (TV)
Genre: Canon Compliant, Could be interpreted as suicidal thoughts, Drabble, Gen, Mentions of Character Death, Mentions of alcoholism
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2014-04-15
Updated: 2014-04-15
Packaged: 2018-01-19 11:50:24
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 546
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/1468399
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/arcticnewt/pseuds/arcticnewt
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Set in 3x24 in which Stiles is about to commit seppuku. </p><p>He’s watching them fight the Oni, and he feels so useless. </p><p>Stiles has always hated feeling useless- but he was very familiar with it.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Impotency

__

_“_ _I’m going to make your best friend kill you, Stiles.”_

//

_"Why- why are you doing this?"_

_"To win the game."_

* * *

 

He’s watching them fight the Oni, and he feels so  _useless_. 

Stiles has always hated feeling useless- but he was very familiar with it. 

* * *

 

Stiles’ childhood was a dark time. 

He remembered trudging through the halls of the hospital, dreading the moment he’d reach the door of his mother’s hospital room.

He remembered the anticipation he’d feel as he twisted the doorknob open- would she know who he was? Or would this be one of these days where she would call for a nurse about a lost kid that just entered her room? 

What Stiles remembered the most was the hurt. When his mother would look at him with confused eyes and smile gently, asking if he’d lost his mother. 

To this day, he could still feel his own impotency. 

He had watched his mother die, and he hadn’t been able to do anything about it.

* * *

 

Stiles remembered watching his dad get into drinking.

He could clearly recall coming home from school to see his dad mournfully downing another bottle of whiskey or something. 

He remembered seeing the tears in his dad’s eyes every time he looked at Stiles.

Stiles remembered feeling helpless as he watched his father drink his problems away, knowing he couldn’t do anything about his grief. 

* * *

 

Stiles remembered watching Scott flounder with being a werewolf.

This time, he promised himself he wouldn’t be useless. That he wouldn’t let anything happen to Scott. 

He did research, he would make sure that Scott didn’t hurt anyone- or himself. He’d find ways to calm him, to keep him anchored. 

Stiles remembers getting out of the house late at night to help Scott save people. 

He remembers keeping Scott  _alive_. 

Maybe he wasn’t so useless after all, he mused as he promised to himself that he would do anything and everything to make sure he kept his best friend-  _his brother_  alive.

* * *

 

Now Stiles was helpless again, watching Scott and Kira fight the Oni off. 

None of this would even be happening to them if Stiles wasn’t so  _human_ , so lacking in resistance to the supernatural that he was so easily possessed by a Japanese trickster spirit- threatening the lives of all the people he loved with his body. 

Stiles remembered his promise to himself that he wouldn’t let Scott die on his watch, and now he feels so damn weak as he watches Scott (and Kira) fight to live in the snow because he can’t do anything to save his friends.

At this point, he  _would_ commit seppuku to make sure the others got out alive- but he doesn’t even have a sword.

* * *

 

Stiles hears the clang of metal before he sees the sword hit the ground- and when he does see the sword, he moves towards it almost instantaneously. 

He grabs the hilt, feeling the weight in his hands- and he twists it towards his stomach. 

Stiles had always liked the idea of dying for Scott.

He stares at the blade, wanting to see his reflection- an odd reassurance that his death would be real, that he  _would_ save his friends, that this was real.

Then he realizes-  _it isn’t real._

"It’s an illusion."


End file.
